Between a rock and my place

There's so much pressure to show up in the lab these days. When I'm not around, certain people (most notably those higher up the academic food chain) naturally assume that I'm slacking off and partying it up on my paltry stipend earnings. Sure, I work in a lab and to actually collect data I need to come in. There are definite advantages to bouncing ideas off people, getting feedback, and working collaboratively. And now that the summer is over (as far as the university administration is concerned), there are weekly scheduled meetings and gatherings where even if attendance isn't exactly mandatory, it's certainly frowned upon if you don't show up.

So I've spent most of the summer "working from home". I'm not going to lie and say that they were all productive hours and there weren't days when you could legitimately say I was slacking off. But, especially lately, I've never had more productive days than the last month or so...

• wake up without an alarm (bliss!)
• kiss my love on the forehead, give her the option to sleep in (which she always takes!), and stumble in my pjs/bathrobe into the living room
• check email, catch up on a blog or two, and random web browse for 45 minutes
• make coffee (inevitably result: the rising of sleeping beauty at the sound of the grinder and fresh coffee scent)
• sit back down in the living room, laptop comfortably warming lap, coffee by my side and ready to work
• within 90 minutes of waking up I'm actually working (not commuting to work)
  

The next step... work! (while waiting for my sweetheart to let the caffeine kick in and slowly lift from groggy sleep haze until she inevitably--the wonderful woman she is--makes breakfast: anything from a bowl of cereal to home-made pancakes. Jealous yet?)

And work I did.

Over the holiday weekend I spent 30 hours writing a 38-page draft of the fourth chapter of my thesis. This past week, I edited down a paper according to the reviewers' suggestions and have cobbled together 80% of a draft for another from that leviathan of a thesis chapter.

But I was beginning to feel guilty and came into the lab today. (Not to mention, there's a seminar today and Rani is working all afternoon. Poop.)

And what have I done?

Nothing. Well... nothing much. Certainly nothing as concrete as "finished a paper":

• organized data to burn to backup DVD and erase from my laptop hard drive
• caught up with the other students in the lab, letting them in on all the little things I "figured out" this week
• organized a "study schedule" with another near-completion PhD student so that we can get together and actually sift through all the literature we need to know inside and out by the time we defend
• caught up with a good friend (and full-fledged scientist here in the lab) over lunch and picked up a little gossip about the departmental behind-the-scenes workings (kinda miss that inside knowledge, actually)
• asked a few people for help (i.e. to send me slides) for the "intro talk" I've got to give next Tuesday afternoon
• and, oh yes, wrote this post

It's nice to list all that stuff. At least it feels "real" now and not just like I was a social butterfly who didn't do anything useful. (And I won't argue if you say that at least one or two of those items are, technically, useful things that were made much easier to do by being here.) There's just something about the environment here: the cramped office space, the people that are more fun and interesting to interact with than just look at, the stress of knowing my supervisor might be around the corner and ready to pounce, the need to share knowledge vocally rather than writing it down as I know I should. It's kinda fun, but never feels particularly productive.

Ironic that: that coming in to work makes me feel like I'm working less, while staying at home in my pjs (or, like I did yesterday, taking my laptop to the pub for a few hours), makes me feel like working hard and actually producing something.

I like working at home better. It's more relaxing and I have complete control of what I do and how I do it. I can handle more stress in an environment that I'm actually comfortable being in. I feel like I actually get things done there.

Silvered Reflections - Looking back on the year

A year ago, the summer dragged on. Not in a bad way, just in that wonderful lazy way that summers can.

This summer disappeared in the blink of an eye. Enforced relaxation was by no means the norm, but it was worth it.

I've got one academic paper in press and another that's been reviewed and needs to be sent back. My photo portfolio has grown and my technique (both behind the camera and in post) has come a long way. People are coming to me asking for photos and even offering to pay. And I've got 90% of a PhD thesis written that, by the end of the month, will be done

Somewhere in there Rani and I managed to attend a few parties, enjoy the occasional patio, have a few great shows, visit friends and family in far off places, and generally stay somewhat sane.

Despite the craziness and the overwhelming stress, happiness was easy to maintain. Being so busy meant little free time, and the stress kept piling (rather than floating away) as the summer went on. But we decided early on to enjoy ourselves and keep smiling.

It worked.

How does that iPodTouch/iPhone screen work anyway?

When I saw the iPodTouch/iPhone screen in the Apple demo videos, I knew it felt familiar. Stumbling from link to link today, I found a video that I've seen before:



(Link to the webpage here.)
It's a talk from Feb 2006 on this wonderful new "multi-touch" technology. Though Apple found some nice little consumer apps to pop it into, the way this screen works could, quite literally, transform the way we interact with computers. It's so intuitive and seemingly simple to use. I've been thinking for ages about getting a touchpad interface to help with photo editing, etc... but this is light years ahead of that.

Take it a step further and think about what happens if this tech really catches on... I can imagine a whole new design for computers--fitting even more organically into our everyday lives. I'd love to have a desk with one of these things integrated right into it. Or a laptop that doesn't need an extra keyboard and is as intuitive to use as a pad of paper.

Not that computers aren't already everywhere, this takes them another leap away from being some alien technology and towards devices that you barely even notice you're using. Kind of scary. Kind of exhilarating. Can't wait to see what comes next.

For a little more insight into how it might actually work, have a peek here at an amazingly simple homebrew version.

She's Got Legs

Even if it's not a career, you're pretty damn good at it!

Burlesque as a Career? Haha!

An acquaintance of mine got upset at me the other day for spending too much time and energy on my "career" (and by career she meant burlesque). This was, of couse, after I'd spent more than $300 of my hard earned money on costumes and props for a show that I wasn't getting paid for (It was for a good cause, so I'm all for that). I gingerly informed her that 1)I spend alot of money putting together charity shows, and 2) My career is academia - I'm going to get my PhD and become a university professor one day, so why would I want a career in something that pays me nothing?!?

A Career in burlesque - haha! You can have one if you want, but I'll explain why you might not want one:

- Since the burlesque "revival" everyone and their dog does burlesque, there are new troupes popping up every day

- It can be a really catty business, once people get into it to make money they don't support each other very well

- You spend thousands of dollars on costumes (if you're doing it right) and make very little back. Only the big names make any money at it, and I can only think of about 3 or four of those people in all of North America

- You have a shelf life, when you get too old, you can't really keep doing it.

All that being said, however, I think burlesque is a really great hobby for me. I enjoy the costumes, the performance, and the interesting folks I meet along the way. Many people spend money on their hobbies, and so I don't mind investing in mine in order to do it right. And if I spend my time on this hobby, it doesn't mean I'm career bound, it just means I've found better things to do than sit on the couch all night, watching TV and drinking beer.

Tunnel of Light

A little abstraction to start the day. Nothing wrong with that.

Bumping into the ex

Definitely something I'm never prepared for. Especially when it's just around the corner from where you used to live together -- and when I'm accompanied by my partner who I live with now. It seems like there's so much to say about the years that have passed, but it equally feels that little has changed. And none of it is worth trying to get into on a street corner in the Annex.

Had me wondering for a while, "Has my life really not changed that much?" But, in the end, it was just the weird juxtaposition of being in an "old place" with an "old face" that made me feel that way. Of course life has got more complicated, I've grown up a lot, and I'm in a much better place now.

I've got my studies/career on track (despite the incessant moaning). My creative life has taken an upturn I never could have expected. Most important, though, I'm actually the partner I want to be -- rather than the one I thought I was being.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't any less a "good guy" back then than I am now. But I was just that kind of selfish only those in their early to mid 20's can be (and none of them know it). Just getting into the world, figuring out how it works, starting to carve a little hole in it to call your own, and still just a little too green to realise how little of it you'll ever really figure out -- makes you world-weary enough without being world-wise enough yet, and it's too scary just thinking about yourself that even when thinking about others it doesn't always work out 100% right.

I'm happier now. Much. And that's all that matters.